Lesson 9: Friend – Samantha

1. Choose a Friend to Work with

Name of the friend you’ll be working with within this sheet:  Samantha

2. Identifying the points to work with

Have a look at all the points of and within the friend you’ve decided to work with – that you ‘like’ and list the points below. 

Note:

–      Be specific within identifying all the points

–      It is to identify ‘internal beingness’ points and not ‘physical/appearance’ points

–      We’ve provided space for 10 points. If you identify more than 10 points, add them. If you identify less, leave the remaining spaces open.

Point 1:   Confidence in herself

Point 2:   Expresses herself, shares herself freely on the internet

Point 3:   Does not shy away or hide from others, is here with others

Point 4:   Openly expresses herself to individuals/strangers

Point 5:   Does not hold back, speaks with what she knows

Point 6:   Assertive in making decisions – goes for it without any hint of being unsure of herself

3. Taking on each Point – One by One

As suggested within the document on Friends & Family – take on one point at a time. For instance, for one month, work with only one of the points that you’ve identified in the previous section – pulling it through from self-forgiveness & self-corrective statements, all the way to practical application.

 

Therefore – within this work-sheet, we have provided space to work with 10 points – but for your assignment, you don’t have to complete each point in writing and/or application. We require to see ‘Point 1’ within this section to be completed. (Meaning: completion of points ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’ under the heading ‘POINT 1’ are compulsory.)

 

Point 1

A.   Self-Forgiveness Application

Ask yourself the following question:

 

What is stopping you, of you, from being able to make decisions assertively without being unsure about it?

 

 

Answer:

• With others- I’m afraid that my answer/decision will not be good enough to the person’s liking/they will disapprove of it
• Become unsure because I don’t know what the ‘right answer’ would be that would please my friend/friends and me because in the end I don’t want to be dissatisfied with my decision.
• Anxiety about making the right choice/decision.

 

  

Self-forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed making decisions assertively as a part of me, within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make decisions assertively without any fear or anxiety.

 

Fear that my decision will not be approved by the person I’m with:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a decision when I’m around others because of the fear that people will disagree with my answers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a decision when I’m with my friends because I’m not sure if my decision will be approved by all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to what others may think or react according to the decisions I make instead of realizing that there is no point worrying about what others think about or react towards me because their reactions are their responsibility towards themselves just like my responsibility is to take self-responsibility for the thoughts and reactions I have within myself, because it’s all about bringing it back to Self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety because I do not know what my friends are going to say or think when I make a decision, and from this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I am acting in self-interest when I go into anxiety in this point because what I want is to have my decisions be approved by others so I can feel better about myself and because I cannot read their minds/predict the future and what they are going to say, I go into anxiety because I am not sure what the outcome will be and I in a way want to be prepared for it so that I do not get hurt, not realizing I cannot get hurt unless I allow myself to, plus only systems get ‘hurt.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want everyone to like and approve the decisions I make so I can feel better about myself, instead of realizing that who I am as Life does not require approval from others as an external point, but within giving my power away to seeking the approval of others, I diminish myself as Life.

Fear that what the decision I make/choose will be a bad one – a bad choice:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that what I will make as a decision will be a bad choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a bad choice/decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a bad choice because I do not want to be disliked, disapproved and disregarded by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making decisions for other people because I’m afraid they will be dissatisfied with my choice/decision/suggestion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making bad choices and decisions because I believe that I will get punished for it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the fear of making bad choices because I believe that I will get punished stems from my childhood and religious programming as a way to discipline me into a ‘good child.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself with my mind between good and bad in and as morality, not realizing that I have been brought up and programmed to live in morality, in and as internal conflict because that the Mind works in polarity and gets it’s “juice”=energy from friction of separation in and as polarity of thoughts, so, what I’m participating in is the polarity of good and bad in my Mind, due to what I have been programmed with as a child, instead of stopping the participation internal conflicts of good and bad thoughts and look at the PRACTICAL COMMON SENSE when making a decision.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to use practical common sense when making decisions, instead of worrying and fearing whether my decisions are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ which simply comes from childhood programming and the fear of punishment for making a bad choice/decision.

 

Self-defined belief: I can’t make decisions

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuses “oh I can’t make decisions” and “oh I’m not good at making decisions” to be an excuse to not take responsibility in making decisions for myself and others because I see, realize and understand that by making decisions I take full responsibility for the decisions and the outcomes that come forth from it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a personality-character where I would become unsure of myself when it is my time to choose a decision or an answer, and go into hiding about this because in that moment I believe that I can’t find the answer instead of realizing that in that moment I’ve defined myself as someone who cannot make a decision because I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become this personality-character who can’t make decisions for themselves. So from this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the one who has kept myself trapped into believing that who I am is someone who cannot make a decision for themselves because it is too hard and too difficult, and from that, “shut down” within myself because I do not want to make the decision.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see a reason why I can’t make decisions so easily is because I’ve defined myself as someone who cannot make decisions so easily and have been accordingly living that self-definition I’ve created, accepted and allowed within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who cannot make decisions, and laugh about it nervously when I say this out loud to other because I am ashamed about this point but try to cover it up with a laugh to want to ease the nervousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear and anxiety to control me when I make decisions by giving my power away to these abusive systems, instead of standing up, taking a breath, seeing, realizing and understanding that fear is not real but of the mind, and while sticking to breath look at the physical reality and in common sense make a decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a character who becomes unsure and anxious when she has to make decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the excuse that I have ‘Libra in my astrological chart’ and that is why I have difficulty making decisions. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my own personality-character of not being able to make decisions and being unsure about it due to my astrological chart.  I see, realize and understand that I have defined who I am and how I work and behave through astrology, giving myself directive power away to knowledge and information because I saw it more than me, instead of questioning the very point of “is this true? Is this who I really am or am I allowing information to direct, control and define me?”

It’s interesting how much of my power and belief I have given to information/text in a book about astrology to define who I am.

B.   Self-Corrective Statements

Read through your Self-Forgiveness statements and identify the corrections/solutions you want to live as you – to practically live, apply, accept and realise yourself as ‘point 1’. Then, script the solutions in the form of Realisations to be lived and Practical Scripts, below:

Realisations to be lived:

• That within and as me exist me being able to make decisions assertively, but what is best is to use this practically what is best for all and not for self-interest’s sake.
• I realize that the fear of making bad choices because I believe that I will get punished stems from my childhood and religious programming as a way to discipline me into a ‘good child’ because if I misbehave or make a bad choice, I get reprimanded and feel guilty and do not want to face the negative side of things.
• A reason why I can’t make decisions so easily is because I’ve defined myself as someone who cannot make decisions so easily and have been accordingly living that self-definition I’ve created, accepted and allowed within myself.

• There is no point worrying about what others think about or react towards me because that is their responsibility towards themselves – what one thinks/reacts is actually them thinking/reacting towards themselves, and so my responsibility is to take self-responsibility for the thoughts and reactions I have within myself, because it’s all about bringing it back to Self.
• I am acting in self-interest when I go into anxiety in this point of making decisions because what I want is to have my decisions be approved of by others and since I cannot read their minds/predict the future I go into anxiety because I am not sure what the outcome will be but want to be prepared for it so that I do not get hurt, not realizing I cannot get hurt unless I allow myself to, plus only systems get ‘hurt.’
• I realize that who I am as Life does not require approval from others as an external source, but in  giving my power away through seeking and wanting the approval of others I diminish myself as Life.

• Look at the PRACTICAL COMMON SENSE when making a decision.
• I am the one who has kept myself trapped into believing that who I am is someone who cannot make a decision for themselves because it is too hard and too difficult, and from that, “shut down” within myself because I do not want to make the decision.

• Fear is not real but of the mind, and while sticking to breath look at the physical reality and in common sense make a decision.
• I see, realize and understand that I have defined who I am and how I work and behave through astrology, giving myself directive power away to knowledge and information because I saw it more than me, instead of questioning the very point of “is this true? Is this who I really am or am I allowing information to direct, control and define me?”

Self-Corrective Script:

C.   Self-Corrective Action

When I am around friends/family/others and I see myself go into fear when it is time for me to make a decision, I stop, I breathe and do not allow the fear to stop me from making a decision as I realize that there is no point fearing about making a decision as what is important is to make a decision that is best for all within the consideration of who I’m with and what the future will be like so there are no unnecessary consequences.

 

When and as I have to make a decision about something and begin to go into fear because I worry if my decision will be approved by all, I stop, I breathe and do not allow myself to participate in the fear as I realize that it will only prevent me from looking at the practical common sense when making a decision.  I assist and support myself to explore my options and to see what is the best decision that considers all and my environment around me and choose what I see is best.  If there is any conflict with my decision, I walk with that person in coming up with a solution.  I also assist and support myself to make decisions based on practical common sense that is best for all/me.

 

When and as I see myself go into the self-defined belief system of excused of “oh I can’t make decisions” or “I’m not good at making decisions” I stop, I breathe, I do not allow myself to continue acting in this character-personality but assist and support myself to stop the excuses and stand up for myself by taking full responsibility for myself and my decisions because I see, realize and understand a reason why I make these excuses is because I don’t want to take responsibility for my decisions and the outcomes that may come from it.

I commit myself to walk the point of becoming a being who is able to make decisions assertively without any hesitation or point of doubt.  I realize that this will take time and the change will not happen immediately, but is a process to be walked.

Place notes as feedback to yourself in relation to your self-corrective actions here.

-When it is something like “where would you like to sit?” I noticed this is where I go into anxiety/fear because I’m not sure what is the best seat. So, what to do is simply look around and see what a comfortable spot is and sit there and do not allow myself to second guess or question if this seat is ‘ok’ cause then I’m becoming super-self-conscious and it’s really unnecessary.

-When I am with co-workers/friends/family/others, when I make a decision that I am unsure of, I check to see why and what are the points I am not standing/aligning myself in.  If I see I need assistance because I cannot assist myself, I make sure I talk to someone about it so my decision is stable.

 

How has your experience been so far within applying the correction that you have scripted for yourself ?

Answer: Ok – still see myself looking at others like “is this ok?” is this ok?” because of experiencing doubt within my decision instead of simply just checking with myself FIRST if it is ok, and fix up any points/misunderstandings and then if necessary go and ask the person if my decision was ok.

I found looking at the practicality of things to be supportive. For example, me not knowing about what to do with my job situation and if I should move- what I did to assist and support myself was to look at my current position, look at my finances, current experience/education, connections/colleagues and from there was able to make a stable decision all because I used practical common sense.